Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
