I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
