This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
