could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
