Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
