Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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