I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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