I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
