halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
