i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my shit smells like andre
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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