Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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