I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
