i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
