Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
