i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
