you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
