he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
