how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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