so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
