The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
