its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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