oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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