You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
