The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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