girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
