Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
