I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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