She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
