I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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