dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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