when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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