pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
