he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
