Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
