so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Randomize
