I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
