shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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