how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize