You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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