I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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