Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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