I think i peed on brittanys purse
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
