i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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