she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
