So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
