Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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