K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
