let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
