sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
