we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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